Jason Garcia

A Final Farewell

I sit in our study looking around for traces of the man I love. I see a book of Jean Michel Basquiat’s works just above my eyes on the bookshelf above me. I see clothes that sill smell of Jason’s distinctive musk. I see the picture of us that we both hated, but hung nonetheless because it was of us together.

Jason died last night.

Although his body will decay and his fleshy limbs will turn to dust the legacy of Jason will live in me strong until I too, turn to dust and my name is long forgotten. Jason’s legacy is a legacy of passion. For those of you who knew Jason you know well that he was a passionate man. Think of him with a guitar slung around his shoulders. Think of him listening to Pantera and how much he loved Dimebag Darrell. When Dimebag was slain Jason mourned for weeks. He was physically pained by the loss of this great musician. I remember finding Jason on the floor of the very study from which I now write, wearing a Pantera t-shirt and sobbing in the fetal position that his death was wrong and unjust.

D.H. Lawrence said, “Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you’ve got to say and say it hot.” Jason lived Lawrence’s words. He was a man of few words but when he felt something he felt it to the core of his being as he did with the death of Dimebag.

Jason was allergic to cats, but there was a cat who perpetually hung about our first apartment and Jason could not keep from petting the poor scrawny thing. He even gave her milk every day and left cat food out on the porch for her. Despite the fits of wheezing and sneezing she inspired in him and although she aggravated his asthma he loved the cat that no one else cared for.

I think of the days I would come home late from working three jobs and drop into bed weary and bone tired to see a flower Jason had picked for me in a small Lenox vase he had bought me for just such occasions. I still have a flower in a vase on my nightstand. The last he picked for me a few weeks ago.

For Jason the passion was not in big displays. It was in the small things he’d do that sometimes you wouldn’t even notice if you weren’t looking in the right direction. He’d do dishes and put a flower in the cupboard; he would give a gift to you six months after you had asked for it and forgotten you even wanted it; he loved the simplicity of being with our dog, Mathilda, just the two of them walking along together through the Tower District.

To be passionate means to have a strong feeling or emotion. Jason’s feelings ran strong in every way. When he was happy he’d laugh in his characteristic staccato and when he was mad you would know that too. Whether he was sad or mad, happy or amused Jason’s passion infused every fiber of his being. In a time when people are too hurried to notice the mundane, too self absorbed to see the neighborhood cat and too senseless to understand the meaning of passion Jason lived a life filled with passion.

Now that Jason is gone live his legacy by infusing your life with passion. Notice things, love people and make Jason proud.

I love you Jason. I know you know that now that you are away from the voices who would tell you otherwise. I love you with my heart, my soul and every thing I have. I love you PASSIONATELY.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 19th, 2006 at 5:58 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

19 Responses to “A Final Farewell”

Kristin Says:
December 19th, 2006 at 9:01 pm
My heart hurts for you dear. I work with his mother at CPS and helped in the burrito sales every Friday when we had them. CPS was not the same today when we heard, as we all felt like we also lost. My prayers go out to you. Much love, blessings and prayers, Kristin Wilson
Monica Holley Says:
December 19th, 2006 at 9:56 pm
My deepest condolences go out to you, Denise, and Jason’s family.
rob Says:
December 19th, 2006 at 11:56 pm
Today when I was at the store I bought a Speakers for the Dead CD. I was sharing your story with a friend. Then when I got home I read that you had left last night. Tonight I will listen to the CD and remember the passion of your life.
Cousin Cathy Says:
December 20th, 2006 at 3:59 am
My dear cousin Jason, words cannot discribe how you will be missed, when mom called me at work today and told me that you had passed I was sad, sad because you will be greatly missed but yet happy for you because I know that now you are not suffering any longer but yet rejoicing with angels of family, so I will not say good-bye dear cousin but rather See ya later.

With All My Love,
Your Cousin Cathy
Metal Says:
December 20th, 2006 at 4:44 am
My deepest sympathies to Jason’s family and friends. Cancer’s a beast but it didn’t win anything, Jason’s jamming with Dime.
Bryan Says:
December 20th, 2006 at 12:51 pm
Our thoughts are with Jason’s family and friends. May the joy and zest for life Jason inspired in everyone be a shining monument to his time here.
Paul Says:
December 20th, 2006 at 1:14 pm
I went to elementary school with Jason and remained friends well into our twenty’s. Over the last several years we lost touch as most do as time passes. About a year and a half ago Jason was able to meet my wife and then year and a half old daughter. I did not think much of it at the time but I am so glad for that encounter. I am sorry I did not know about your illness Jason. I am sorry you had to go through this. You are at peace now with Lord and I thank God for that. For all of you who will miss Jason everyday of your life my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Rest In Peace Jason, whether you knew it or not, I love you.

Paul
Devon Says:
December 20th, 2006 at 4:17 pm
Hey Denise.
I just got the email. Im sooooo saddened!. I can imagine how you feel.. yet i will never know how you feel. Give Matilda a big hug for me!!!!!!!!

And give youself a big hug from me too.

email me if ya need anything!

Friends!

Devon
frank matthews Says:
December 20th, 2006 at 6:44 pm
I’m very sad to hear about Jason. I run sound for the Crossraods bar and being a guitarist myself I enjoyed watching Jason play when his band was booked there. His approach to the guitar and his use of effects was very clever. My condolences to his family and band mates. And Curtis, if you’re reading this thanks for the conversation last Friday at the Crossroads. Jason is indeed in a better place now brother!

Rock on Jason!

Frank
dora Says:
December 20th, 2006 at 8:01 pm
Denise,

I’m soo sorry to hear about Jason leaving. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Roseanne, Rose, Joel, Michelle & baby Kaiden. God blessed us all by allowing us to know such a wonderful man. He will be truly missed by many.
Richard Williams Says:
December 20th, 2006 at 10:58 pm
Dear Denise, I was very sadden to learn of Jason’s passing last night on the news. My heart goes out to you and Jason’s family. Especially during this time of the year when our loved ones will be mostly missed. The Holiday’s are suppose to be full of hope and loving times with our families. Having a son with testicular cancer and a wife with breast cancer, both in remission, no one could ever know what Jason, you and his family have endured over these trying times. There are not enough words of comfort and support that one could offer, or express to you and his family during this difficult period in all of your lives. But my family and I will continue to pray to God for you, Jason and his family, to embrace all of you and bring peace and comfort. Jason and you have touched many lives, having never known his music nor meeting the both of you, I will always remember the courageous battle and struggle he endured, to bring hope and pioneer the efforts in overcoming his terrible disease. We will always be indebted to Jason for his brave efforts and his offering of hope to others. They will never be forgotten, nor without vain. And most importantly we will never forget the love and never ending support which you and his mother so much gave of yourselves to be by Jason’s side through-out his entire fight. Jason was very blessed have you Denise and I know you were blessed to have him. And we all were blessed to have known you and Jason. For all of our lives will be continually be blessed with Jason’s love and passion for life and the simple things that he cherished so much. May God Continue To Bless You and Jason and Embrace All Of You. The Williams Family
Mark (former guitarist from murder by design) Says:
December 20th, 2006 at 11:46 pm
My heart goes out to jasons family.
I only got to play one show with jason and he was one of the most colorful and tasteful musicians I have ever met he will be missed and he will live on in the hearts and minds of those that knew him and even those that didnt because he will always live on in his music because even after all of our bones have turned to dust and the earth has died our legacys will always be here in someway or another so I say this to you Brother.

I hope you find your way into the next life with ease and when you get there shred it up with dimebag randy rhoads and hendrix brother rest in peace.
sincerely mark your brother in music and mayhem
Lorraine Says:
December 20th, 2006 at 11:50 pm
my thoughts and prayers are with you during this time. i never personally met jason, but i did have the opportunity to hear him play shows in fresno with gryp and with speakers for the dead. i remember hearing when he was first diagnosed, i was sad espically to hear that it had spread. after being with my aunt during her battle, which she eventually lost, i felt so weak as a human. i am often scared about such illness and i think how could i even fight. i cant imagine what he went through during his treatments, he was truly a warrior. i often came to the site to read updates and your comments. you are a very strong woman. jason was truly blessed to have such a love in his life.
Erin J. Says:
December 21st, 2006 at 1:18 pm
My prayers go out to you Denise, you were a warrior for Jason. You fought a great fight. When God reveals himself it may not be what we want or what we expect, the purpose may remain a mystery, but find comfort in knowing that you were never forgotten and always in His hands. Even though Jason was not healed physically, his soul has reached heights beyond our mortal comprehension. What a glorious day it will be when we all get to see Jason again. He knew you loved him, he knows you love him. For no such battle could be fought without the strength of love. Thank you Denise, for fighting, for loving, for perservering. Allow yourself to heal. I love you.
Tosh and Everyone At New Era Says:
December 21st, 2006 at 2:50 pm
Jason had the heart of a fighter from the first time I met him. I had the honor of teaching him martial arts for years, and its so unfair this horrible horrible disease has taken him. When he was healthy he would practice until he literally could not stand up anymore. I understand he fought his cancer with the same tenacity. I won’t cry for Jason, his pain is over and he is in a better place. I will cry for us here on earth, for our loss. May his memory provide some comfort to the family and friends who supported him through this ordeal.
Tim & Tami Sanchez (cousins) Says:
December 21st, 2006 at 6:04 pm
Rosanne,

Words cannot express how sorry we are. May God give you strength. We are thinking and praying for you and the family. Please know that we are all here for you.

Denise,

I had know idea that when you were away from work that the special person you were caring for was Jason. God bless you.
Carla Stoner-Brito Says:
December 22nd, 2006 at 1:35 am
I am so sorry to hear the news. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the family. I met Jason in 1992 when we worked together at DiCicco’s. I will always remember his warm smile, his wonderful laugh and his passion for music.
God bless you.
christine Says:
December 27th, 2006 at 6:38 pm
A prayer is said for your family….stay strong and believe the lord has big plans for Jason. He’s gone home & is looking upon us….. especially his friends & loved ones.
Keep him in your thoughts and celebrate his life always.
Christine( a distant friend)
kurt takahashi Says:
May 10th, 2007 at 2:11 am
Tonight I sat here thinking of old past friends , of course jason popped in my head. I worked with jason at Chevy’s . Ive since moved to a different city so im not quite in the loop about fresno . Tonight as I look online for maybe a tour date for an old buddy I learned he had passed. Ive read all the blogs word for word and Its wonderful to know that the man i remember never changed even in the worst circumstance. tonight i will wake my wife (who also worked with jason) and my son and tell them of a great man i once new who’s life has come to an end, but his spirit will live on forever. Too joel and the rest of his family our hearts are always with you. kurt , melissa and jackson

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A Final Farewell

19 Responses to “A Final Farewell”

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